May 19th, 2005



As In finished my bowl of cream last night and turned to my ball of wool, I started to reflect on some of the slightly more amusing anecdotes which I have picked up in the past and decided that, these tales having whiskers of their own, that a couple were safe to put up here.

Once upon a time, in the distant past, there was a young man from the West Midlands area who found himself in the unenviable position of having to move to the fens in order to pursue some academic research. He soon made many friends and settled down to a sobre life of serious scholarship. Mostly. This particular fellow occasionally gets bored and becomes very drunk and when this happens, his alter ego comes out to play. This alter ego craves danger.

One evening he and a friend had been lucky enough to obtain invitations to an art evening at a certain young ladies' institution. It wasn't that he and his friend had no interest in art, quite the contrary, but there was rather a lot of free wine to be had that evening plus they had been to the pub already. As the evening wore on, he and his friend became rather inebriated and decided to leave and go for a curry instead of staying to appreciate the artworks further. By the door there was an especially sorry-looking specimen of modern sculpture which appeared to have been fashioned from old bits of scrap metal and offcuts of wire. Nobody seemed to be looking at it. As luck would have it, it was just the right size to fit under our hero's coat and his alter ego most heinously made this transfer.

The next day the young academic woke up feeling somewhat fuzzy-headed as well as a little puzzled at his new acquisition. He went about his daily business at college and, at the end of the day, went for a well-deserved cup of tea in the MCR. Horror awaited him. There were notices up reporting a certain sculpture as having been stolen. In the University newspaper, it was reported that an extremely valuable sculpture, valued at #20,000, had gone missing the night before from a certain art exhibition. A picture with the piece proved to be of this person's new mantlepiece ornamentation.

Panic set in as our hero considered his options. He did not wish to end his career then and there due to drunken stupidity and the longer he had the sculpture in his possession, the more likely he was to get in trouble. He was too scared to return the sculpture directly, as this would have entailed his having to explain just how he had 'found' it and he was, and still is, a crap liar. In the end, he and his friend of the night before took the statue to college X at the dead of night and left it outside the lodge... whereupon it was found and restored to its rightful owner.

This individual now has impressionable young minds under his care!
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(no subject)

Apparently I have lurkers.

Is there some spray or ointment I could obtain?

Just joking. Apparently it's a bit of compliment as they reputedly only go for clean blogs...

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